Working and Wandering

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I was in a cafe earlier this morning. I popped out today to work from a cafe. Working from home can be lonely sometimes so it is good to get out and be surrounded by people, while you still get the work done.
I am now 38 weeks pregnant, so some of my attention (unintentionally) goes to the mums that come to the cafe with their babies and toddlers.
I have the innocent idea that, when the baby comes and after a few weeks, I will be able to continue with my life – like if the baby is totally going to adapt to me and not much the other way around. But the more I see around me, the more I think that it won’t be the case.
All the mums around me right this morning, were totally focussed on their toddlers, none of them were working or reading a book or anything like that. Just totally focussed on making their little ones smile. And what can be better than that?

It is just that, sometimes, it is terrifying to think how things are going to change and if I will be able to do it.

Freelancing

Reset-2

31st of July 2014.. that was the day when I stopped working for a big agency in London. Crazy long hours, endless tiredness, frustations and tons of stress were the reasons I decided to stop altogether and reset (me), so that I would be able to start again.

I quitted my job and decided to start working as a freelance. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do next so I thought freelance work would allow me to do that, by having the time and mental space to figure out what I really wanted to do.

13 months have passed and I haven’t regretted my decision not even once. But I have to confess that I still keep looking for my “real dream career” or “path”

I am a digital consultant so working as a freelance has giving me a lot of freedom and independence to structure my working hours and being able to enjoy things that I wanted to do for a long time.

Don’t get my wrong, I still have to work my ass off and get the work done but, as my own boss now, I don’t feel guilty anymore if I meet my friends over a coffee during working hours, or if I pop out for a yoga class or If I don’t check my emails over the weekend. It has also giving me the opportunity to deal with new things that are not really my expertise like such as accounting or website development. Well, to be honest, I am still working on them…

Let’s see how all changes now when the baby comes… Any advices? I would really appreciate them 🙂

Post Vacation Blues

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  1. Postvacation blues (Canada and US), Post-holiday blues (Ireland and some Commonwealth countries) or just vacation/holiday blues or less commonly, post-travel depression (PTD) is a type of mood that persons returning home from a long trip (usually a vacation) may experience.

(Source: Wikipedia)

And It’s again that time of the year, when we need to go back to reality and back to our routines. It has been a great summer but I am definitely ready for Autumn.

Time to catch up with friends about summer and the latest adventures, hot coffees,  chestnuts, and the long missed cardigans….. all these things that sound more poetic than real.

The thing is that this year I am looking forward to Autumn, like that … I am that weird. I wasn’t anxious about going back to work, to do lists, back to routines and even the rain is not bothering me (I got a really cute umbrella and that always helps!)

I guess that has more to do with my personal situation than anything else but I haven’t felt any Post Vacation Blue. I have to confess that I have already started planning my next holiday which always always helps

September is waiting for you

September

It is a quite time, the calm before the storm. You can feel it, you know that is about to come. The eye of the hurricane, that complete calm that is almost terrifying. It is so unreal. Something is going to happen and it will be very special.

That is how I spent most of August and that is how September has started, waiting for things to happen.

Now the moment “when it happens” “when all is going to change” is getting closer. And I am getting nervous, even when I know that I am ready for it.

In the next few weeks I am going to have a baby, I’ll become a mum! And I can’t wait for those intense but exciting days ahead of me to come.

I remember those first few minutes when you find out that you’re pregnant. You look at the predictor, you look at it again, and yet it still shows a “positive” result. A POSITIVE  result with capital letters!!

And you sit back in the toilet and give yourself a few minutes to process it. You are pregnant, PREGNANT!

But the best part is yet to come: you need to go back to the bedroom, wake up your partner (with a good kiss) and tell him that you are pregnant (in other words, that he is going to be a father!)

You go back to the room as planned and he is sleeping, so peacefully. You then decide that the news can wait. A few more hours just being the two of you.

Holiday – ing

Holiday: noun (often holidays) An extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in travelling.

One of my favourite words in the dictionary. What does it mean to me? Time, sun, sand, beach, mountains, relax, good food, good books, life without a watch, sleep, family chats, long walks, new cities, cold wine, love, laugh, dreams, plans and more plans, mojitos, more dreams… and all of that away from home or in travelling. That’s what holiday-ing is for me.

Holiday

In my childhood, it meant spending the summer at my auntie’s place by the beach. In a tiny small flat with far too many of us staying at but it didn’t matter, as we could see the beach from the windows and smell the sea.

Do I miss those summers? No, I love my summers now but I appreciate how lucky I was those days too.

Story V – Friday Night

Dan and Lisa are out on a Friday night. They work together, they have for the last 8 months. They’ve just finished an important project today and they’ve decided to have a quick celebration.

Dan just ordered the second bottle of wine.

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Dan – “So tell me Lisa, apart from loving seafood and being a great accountant” – He said with a big smile and looking at her – “what do you like doing in your free time?”

Lisa smiled back at him and touched her glass of wine.

Lisa – “I like mud wrestling and weight lifting” – She said trying to look serious.

Dan laughed sincerely and loudly. She laughed too.

Dan – “You’re very funny!” – He tried to sound surprised – “But seriously. For example, I am into marathons at the moment and I’ve just signed up for the Paris one” – He said quite proud.

Lisa looked at him for a moment. She moved forward and smiled at him.

Lisa – “I’ll tell you my secrets after the third bottle of wine” – She looked up to see his reaction.

He smiled back and relaxed on his chair. It was going to be a long night, he thought, and he was totally ready for it.

Story IV – The Mobile Phone

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Yes or No? Shall I keep the phone in case she calls again? – He asked himself.

It all started this morning on the bus, on his way to work. After a few stops the man sitting next to him got up and left. Marc didn’t notice until a few seconds later that the man had forgotten his phone on the bus.

It was too late now to ask the bus driver to stop and look for the guy to give him his mobile back, so he decided he would drop the phone at the next Police Station on his way to work. It was a good idea, in case the guy came looking for it.

Marc put the phone on his pocket, grabbed his bag and got off the bus.

After a few minutes he noticed a phone ringing. It took him a good few seconds to realise that it was this “other phone” in his pocket. He chose not to pick it up; after all it wasn’t his phone. But it started ringing again.

Then he thought that it might be the owner trying to find his phone so he decided to answer the call.

  • ‘Hello’ – Mark said but none said anything – ‘Hello?’ – Mark insisted
  • ‘Why did you do that?’ – A woman said on the other side of the phone – ‘I would have never done that to you’
  • ‘Hello, look I don’t know who you are but I am not who you think that I am, I just found this phone on the bus’ – Mark said quickly trying to explain the situation.
  • ‘If you don’t tell me that you love me now … I will kill myself’ – She said while crying.
  • ‘Hey look, I don’t know what it is happening but it is Mark here and I don’t know you. If you can let me know who is the owner of this phone, I will get this phone back to him and you will be able to reach him’ – Marc reassured her.
  • ‘I should have never trusted you’ – Her crying was quieter now – ‘But I can’t go on like this’

Mark thought of her, how vulnerable and sad she sounded. He knew she was beautiful, but not only because of the guy whose phone he was using was very handsome too; it was her voice, there was something he couldn’t explain but he was sure.

She was calling at 8:30 in the morning and she sounded so hurt. Probably she had been crying all night.

  • ‘Say it’ – She whispered
  • ‘Please’ – She begged quietly.

Mark did the only thing he could think of:

  • ‘I love you’ – He said to her

After a few seconds of silence she hung up the phone.

Story III – Cold night

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“The weather is so horrible outside. Nights like this should be forbidden” – She thought while looking through the window. She decided to make herself a cup of tea, that would warm her up.

It was a night like this when all happened and everything finished for her.

Her husband had been working a 36 hours shift at the Hospital when he had a crash on his way back home, he was tired but the snow didn’t help. He was coming back to her but they never saw each other again.

And it was on evenings like this when she was feeling more sad and lonely.

The kettle screamed to let her know that the water was ready.

“Tonight I’ll have a camomile, it’ll help me sleep” – She thought.

With the cup of tea ready, she went back to the window.

She hugged herself through the cardigan and decided to stay by the window a little bit longer, just to check that everyone was ok out there.

How my January went …

January

After Christmas, and the presents (not always good ones) and great good meals (with or without family) comes January. Time to sober up and start with your resolutions for the new year.

And  you start very well, going back to work, starting the new diet and signing up for the gym (how often you would go to the gym isn’t clear yet)

But then you get to the middle of January and Surprise Surprise!, you are broke… And the worst thing is that you won’t get paid till the end of the month (Painful!)

So you decide to be positive about it, you will cut down on your nights and meals out (good for your diet and your month free of alcohol too) So far, all good.

The issue comes with … the SALES. Because, yes ladies and getlemen, the big sales of the year (with the massive discounts) are always during the worst economic time of the year too.

So you decide to just go to work and come home directly afterwards, the only stop allowed is the supermarket.

But one days it happens… you see this amazing coat on sale (3rd sale!) (have I said already that it was amazing?!) And you see it clear: You haven’t chosen the coat, the coat has chosen you! you actually have not choice but to buy it (using your credit card of course, you’ll pay it off next month)

And then you decide to go and meet your friends for that drink. They have been calling you all month and you have been making excuse. It will be a great opportunity to try your new coat and have that Ging and Tonic you are dying for, and maybe even dinner if the place is nice?

But you promise yourself that you’ll go to the gym first thing tomorrow… oh no 😀

Story II – It isn’t mutual if he doesn’t find out

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– Hi Eric, how are you?

– OMG Martha, you wouldn’t believe what a bad day I am having!! I should have never left the bed this morning

– I am sure it is not too bad. Come on, tell me about it.

– Last night I went out with Marc to this new trendy bar in Soho

– So you went out last night?! But it was Tuesday..

– Focus Martha! And I met this girl. You wouldn’t believe how attractive she was.

– You met someone last night? Wait! Are you sure you want to meet someone who also goes out on a Tuesday?

– After buying my way with a few jokes and stories, she ended up leaving with me.

– And she went home with you?

– Why are you repeating everything I am saying?

– Sorry…

– She stayed at my place all night and it was brilliant – Really amazing!

– Oohh

– But you wouldn’t guess my bad luck, do you remember I was hoping to get a promotion now that Lucas was leaving the agency? Well, the director decided it would be better to bring someone new, with fresh ideas. Can you imagine who it is?

– Did you prepare breakfast for her?

– What? Whats the matter with you today? Focus please

– Of course, continue.

– Isobel, the girl from last night, she is my new manager! Can you imagine? And the worst thing is that I actually really like her. Help me Martha, what can I do? I want to keep seeing her but I want her job

– Why should I know what to do?

– Well, you always get what you want.

– Do I? Do I really Eric?

– Of course you do! You have a great job that you love and people respect you. And the only reason why you have no partner at the moment is because you don’t want to.

– What? Is it really what you think? As a friend you really suck… You could know me better if you wanted, but that is not the case, is it?

– Martha, I am lost here..

– Of course you are

– So are you going to help me or not?

She got up and left.